Through most of the month of December, I spend a lot of my time preparing recipes that taste great but don’t absorb a lot of my time. It’s the holidays after all, and not only do I want to enjoy them but I have other things to do: trim the tree, make cookies, go to the neighbors’ caroling party where they serve the punch that requires a second cup of coffee and a little extra recovery time the next morning.

Even so, food-wise it’s pretty much game on from here until next year. Many afternoons are spent making an appetizer or potluck dish to take to someone’s house, only to set it on a long table with a red tablecloth, green napkins, and candy canes strewn about, letting it blend in with all the other goodies that others created.

While I want my food to be wonderful, and to see the dish I prepared gobbled up in minutes and hear raves about how delicious it is, it really doesn’t matter because the evenings are about sharing good cheer with friends. It’s a month when it is a good time for the foodie in me to let the food become secondary.

I have figured myself out over the years and, if I want to enjoy Christmas, it is best for me not to get my undies in a bundle over entertaining — and I don’t, with the exception of Christmas Eve. The Christmas Eve crowd has grown, the eaters fussier (my mother-in-law) but the night remains intimate. I have gone from the quiet evenings of just Amy and I having lamb chops, to my expanding family, Vivian and Joselyn, at the table having a beautiful roast duck stuffed with apples and chestnuts, served with potato dumplings and braised red cabbage, to having my in-laws over. While the dishes have changed (now we have beef tenderloin), one thing hasn’t: I always take the time to make a sauce in the classical French cuisine style, always.

Honestly I couldn’t tell you if anyone appreciates it, but I do. So I make it. It defines me, it’s what ties me to my past as a chef, it’s the night I wear dress shoes instead of work boots, it’s refined and refined goes well with the La Grande Dame Champagne and when the Madame is present it is always a special occasion.

10 Tips for Making Dinner Fancy and Keeping Your Sanity

1. Choose one night during the holidays and make it really special. Use the law of diminishing returns to your favor: one great evening will be remembered far longer than multiple.

2. Be in the moment and enjoy the ones you are with.

3. Cook dishes within your skill set and make sure not to get in over your head.

4. Buy a really nice bottle of Champagne and share it with your guests before dinner, when everyone can really taste it and when it will enliven everyones palates.

5. Buy really fresh ingredients and use them to your advantage. In other words, if you buy quality, you can cook them simply and still have great flavor. Then with a few simple flourishes like flavored butters or vinaigrettes you can finish them right before they go to the table.

6. Many classic sauces can be made well in advance, sauces to stay away from are Hollandaise-based like Bearnaise.

7. Keep serving dishes warm — just short of untouchable is always good.

8. Let the roast rest, and, just before you want to eat plate up the sides, then slice the roast.

9. Put the sauce on the plate so you can see the beautiful roast, instead of hiding it under the sauce.

10. Make your guests feel like they are the most important people in the world.

Mustard-Crusted Beef Tenderloin with Sauce Robert

Serves 8

1 whole beef tenderloin, cleaned (the butcher can do this for you), 6 to 8 pounds

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Olive oil

1 1/2 cup panko bread crumbs

2 tablespoons parsley

2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

3 1/2 tablespoons Dijon mustard

1/4 cup minced shallots

1/2 cup dry white wine

1 1/2 cup reduced beef stock (it should have body and be a little thick)

1/2 lemon

1. At least 24 hours before you want to cook it, place the beef tenderloin on a wire rack and salt it. Let it sit in the fridge uncovered overnight. If you plan to leave it in the fridge for longer, cover it loosely with plastic wrap. Dry is one thing, jerky is another and we want dry so the tenderloin caramelizes.
2. Heat the oven to 375˚ F.
3. If the tenderloin is too big for your pan, cut it in half, or thirds. I like to truss the tenderloin so it holds a nice round shape. It also helps it cook more evenly.
4. Heat a heavy-bottomed pan over high heat. Pepper the tenderloin with freshly ground pepper. Add a glug or two of oil to the pan, just enough to give a good coating. Sear the meat quickly but make sure it is browned. Remove it from the heat.
5. Combine the panko bread crumbs with half the melted butter, season it with salt and black pepper and half the parsley, and combine it all with a few stirs of a spoon.
6. Once the tenderloin has cooled a bit, use three tablespoons of the mustard and smear it across three sides of the tenderloin, then take the tenderloin and roll the three sides into the breadcrumbs, creating a crust.
7. In a sauce pan, add the remaining butter. Place the pan over medium high heat and sweat the shallots. Do not brown them. Once the shallots are tender, add the wine and let it reduce to 1 tablespoon or so. Add the stock and the mustard and reduce the volume by half. The sauce should coat the back of a spoon nicely. If it’s too thick add a splash of water.
8. Place the tenderloin, un-crusted side down, on a baking sheet with sides.
9. Bake the tenderloin about 25 to 30 minutes. Remove it from the oven and let it rest for 10 minutes.
10. Add the parsley to the sauce and warm it, add a splash of lemon juice, then ladle the sauce onto the bottom of a warm serving platter and fan out the tenderloin. Serve immediately.